I don’t care what you say, rejection sucks. It’s absolutely hurtful and not to mention a huge blow to your ego. How dare that company reject you after you’ve given such a brilliant interview? What on earth was that girl thinking, rejecting your marriage proposal? If she had just squinted her eyes and tilted her head, she would’ve seen how irresistible and charming you really were. And not to mention, who the hell does FAFSA think they are rejecting your plea for a student loan? They got you selling a kidney for college and they’re just sitting there like ‘hey, you look like you’re struggling financially fam. But so are all these other students. #AllLivesMatter.’
But on a serious note, rejection is processed in the brain the same way a physical injury is processed in the brain. Yes, it’s that severe and that traumatic. Except I’d declare it worse because your mental bruises are invisible. Nobody sees them. Nobody feels them. Nobody understands the lingering effects of it like you do. And I know that even till this day, you still feel the pain of some kind of rejection. Or maybe you’ve blocked it out and tried not to think about it. But say if we were to take a trip down memory lane back to that moment you were being rejected — you would feel it all over again. That strikingly, unbearable pain.
But what if I told you that you needed to be rejected? What if I told you that there is a blessing in rejection, may it be from a job, a person or situation? So many of us have almost conditioned our minds to digest rejection as a bad thing. And while it might feel bad initially, what if it manifested as one of the best things to ever happen in your life?
The way I see it, rejection is a redirection. It’s God’s personal sign to you that you were headed the wrong way. Sometimes, even when the signs of treading down the wrong path appear right in front of our faces, some of us still continue to skip down that same road, ignorantly. Even if there was a sign that read “Danger! If you cross over you will die,” painted in red, bold font for you, some of y’all would process it like “HUH? CROSS OVER? YOU BETCHA.” That’s why I also believe that the blow of certain rejections hit harder than usual and last longer than normal. Because the pain of it reminds us to never take that road again. No matter how much we want to.
But on the contrary, I also dare you to think about a time where you were rejected, and what came after it was worse. Can you ever truly think of a time where you were told “no” and then the “yes” that followed it downgraded you? I honestly can’t. If anything, it has upgraded me. It’s upgraded my mind, my attitude, my choices, and my overall outlook of what I want.
Everything and everyone who has rejected me played a vital role in constructing me to how I am today : bold and fearless. I’m not afraid to take risks or chances because when you rely on God 100%, you just develop this belief that even if you’re taking a chance on something or someone who is wrong for you, that He will ultimately redirect you to what and who is better. But you also have to develop an attitude that you’re open to redirection. Simply because who is redirecting you isn’t a friend or a family member, it’s God. The omniscient and most merciful.
Which is why today, I operate by faith, not by fear. And this attitude would have never surfaced or came to life had I not been rejected. Multiple times. In different ways. From different people.
Rejection is not something that will happen for some time and then stop. Expect to see it all through-out your life. In your jobs, in your relationships, in business opportunities, with your loved ones and generally in life. But instead of fearing it, I want you to embrace it. Even if you have absolutely no idea what gem, what gain, or what benefit might come from it in the long-run. Embrace it in the hopes that one day, God will unravel why it was one of the best things that could ever happen to you.