Attachment. In short, is comfort. It’s something you’re accustomed to. You gravitate back to this person or relationship not out of love, but out of familiarity. You’re familiar with their touch, scent, treatment, tone..etc. They may have been your first for everything and perhaps that’s their power over you. They might not be good for you or even the best for you, but they’re really good at doing one thing : filling a void. They’re like a place-holder, a cover-up for the ditches of emptiness that are present inside of you. They don’t actually create a space for themselves in your heart.
They simply occupy. Exist. Reside over. Fill. Attachment causes a person to cling, to clutch tightly onto another due to the fear of loss or never finding better. It brews insecurity. It harbors resentment when attention isn’t returned. It gives, but is more concerned with getting back. It’s not exactly an emotion that gives life, but it does cause death every time it’s broken.
When they’re no longer there, it’s not that you actually miss them. You just miss what distracted you from feeling empty on the inside. It’s more about you, than them.
On the contrary, love and genuine love is out of this world. It nurtures and grows deeper with time. Your love, understanding and devotion to each other outweighs your need for each other. A healthy relationship always consists of two, independent people who have their own lives, but actively make each other a priority. It’s challenging, invigorating, and sometimes even uncomfortable. You know why? Because it causes you to rise out of your comfort-zone. It helps peel our former selves and gives birth to newer and better versions of ourselves. It encourages us to strengthen our relationship with God and those who we love. It’s not selfish, it doesn’t just keep to itself. It rejoices in giving. It doesn’t fear the fact of leaving or finding someone better, because it knows that the person I have right now, is the best person for me.
Attachment, on the other hand, causes you to selfishly cling onto them for your own gains. Whereas love makes you want to set them free. Free from hardship, free from insecurities, free from worries, free from stress and even free from yourself. As long as it makes them happy. You want to know whether you’re attached to someone or really in love? Ask yourself, are they an anchor in keeping me exactly the way I am because I’m comfortable? Or are they a moving force, a catalyst, in helping me revolutionize my mind, soul and body to reach my highest potential because they know I could be better?
The answer is in their impact on you.